Often, I talk to people online and offline about a wide range of issues: family, relationships, job satisfaction, business, just name it. Quite a number of issues are thrown up in the process, and while some of the characters hold on well, some others, indeed the majority, are not able to hold it together. And this is so real that it almost threatens to asphyxiate them.
Some young persons have jobs that they prayed to get and soon or long after they secure such jobs, they are disconnected one way or the other. Some love their jobs but do not find it financially rewarding. Some others love the pay but do not find any fulfillment whatsoever and they are in despair each day from the moment they awake and while at work, they are stressed by bosses who breathe down their necks and throw invectives at them. It can be that crazy.
A generic thought could be like the following:
When life gets this stressful and everything seems not to be working as planned, it is not the time to get desperate. It is time to stay calm, wait and listen to the unusual voice to give direction. Problem is that not many of us know anything about this unusual but ever-present inner voice. Only a few connect with the reality of the unseen.
Many choices come at you and almost all of them are contrary to propriety. This is the time to be cautious. It is not the time to be in despair. It is time to observe, and seek inner peace as you wait the season through. Haste will never bring solution. Haste leads to errors and almost everything done in haste is regretted.
Whatever you do, it is energy you are letting out. It will all come back to you. You do not want to be left thinking where the negative came from in the fullness of time when the cycle is complete. You may never remember they were the seeds you sowed in despair and desperation.
Calm is called for at this time. You should make calm an all-time attitude as you learn to space yourself out by focusing on what is important now, and not bothering about what happened yesterday or what may happen tomorrow. Yet, you may not leave unfinished business unfinished. Someone depends on it. Something definitely depends on it.
But do know that somehow the dots of the past will connect in the future. The dots always connect. If you know this, you should be better advised about the small steps you take each day. Each step adds up to the whole. This is why you must be sure of what you are doing each step of the way as you go.
What specific options do we have if we are in a situation where, though we seem fulfilled because we are growing on our job as we are learning, but we are not happy because we are not earning as much as we expect or think we are worth? What should we do in such situation?
Be Definite About What you Want
Having a definite chief aim is a huge treasure. When you know what you want from life or from a relationship, you find the how to make it work. And this means you know why you are in it in the first place. There has to be a reason. Another way to look at this definite question is that when you know what you want from life you will seek to build the right relationships to help you get there; and the safest route is for you to seek win-win. Many times, the things that really steal our time are not useful in the long run. The reason is that we do not know what it is that we want and so we jump from pillar to post. If people know what to focus on per time and they are able to actually apply the focus, they would have solved present problems and laid the foundation to fix the future. Bottomline is that stress would be taken out of the equation.
Be Satisfied With Present Growth
Growth is often grossly misunderstood. Growth is more of consistency than intensity. When we grow consistently, value is added to us each day but only a few are able to interpret or evaluate this growth. To do this, you have to pay attention and observe both yourself and others in your space. It is a huge power of emotional intelligence. You grow when you commit to a cause and sacrifice your life to same. You do not merely grow because you are making money. Money is a numbers game and numbers do not come to an end. If you have not defined your definite aim but get into despair because of money, you box yourself into a corner you cannot extricate yourself from. This is the outcome of the wrong interpretation you make of growth. When you are growing but you are not building competencies that will make you be at peace with yourself as you go through life, you may not get equipped with the right character values with which to manage whatever success you attract. We grow through our failures. Without our failures, we are not going to grow because each failure sends our roots deeper and gives us firm foothold. The journey that ends in great accomplishment is not a teaparty. It is a long and enervating one. Quit your self-deception of ease and wanting quick results without having to pay the price. You will snuff life out of yourself. Even if you have been lied to, you do not have to lie to yourself.
Envision the Benefits of the Present
The benefits of the present is not generic and equal to everyone. It is not subject to the validation of others. The benefits of today is personal to you and it is born out of the fact that you know what you want, you have your own definition of success, and your life is one you are intentional about. This is the question of mindset. Present benefits differ from one person to the other. To one it is growing on a job; to another it is career; to yet another, it is money, and the list goes on. Once you have determined what present benefit means to you, you know it and should apply what you have found consistently. The benefits of the present will affect the future if the foundation is right. Great values build great future. This is non-negotiable.
Look Away from Others/Quit Comparisons
Comparison is the thief of joy. This thought is attributed to President Theodore Roosevelt and it brings up a strong bias that can transform life. Comparing ourselves with others is not healthy for our total well-being. And we actually engage in comparison because of complexes-inferiority or superiority. Your colleagues at the workplace are not you. Because you are in the same class does not mean you belong in the same class. You are different from them just as they are different from you. You have to wake up to this realization. You may be colleagues but you are different entities on a completely different sojourn through this space. Your script, like every other person's, is a unique one. We live in great subtle danger when we live in comparison with others. This is mission critical and must always feature in our thoughts as much as we collaborate with others.
With this mindset well established within your psyche, you would be able to embrace the issues that happen to you. You should know that they do not define you. While they may affect you either positively or negatively, how you actually see and process them hold the fortune for you. Life has to happen constantly and nothing can change that. But how we respond determines how we turn out. This is not just motivation, it is life.
Someone asked me if I am affected by stress or whether I am not in Nigeria and my response is that I am not always worried about tomorrow. It is pretty difficult to find something that will take sleep away from me.
When I left paid employment in 2012, it was a deliberate move to be free to run my life at my own terms. My life is not ruled by the things that I cannot change. I am always able to separate important from urgent. And where both of them conflict, I maintain calm. Life continues and no one ephemeral thing is worthy of the honour of robbing me of peace. This is my mindset. You can forge yours and build meaning around it.
It is important for each person who seeks to be accomplished to match fulfillment with the proceeds of fulfillment. They are completely different. Physical rewards are the proceeds. Monetary rewards are great but like numbers you can't get to the end of them. If our focus is built completely on that, we will live miserable lives. This applies to you whether you are in paid employment or you are self-employed. And because you are self-employed does not make you an entrepreneur. Connecting with the core within you is the key to holistic and all round fulfillment. You actually hold the key but when you let someone else have your key, they will run your life at their own terms and that is because you permitted them to do so.
